How Do We Surrender?

I have recently been reading Priscilla Shirer’s book “I Surrender All” along with my Inspire Women’s Ministry Team and I have gleaned so much already.

When I sing the song, “I Surrender All” at church when they give an invitation at the end of the sermon, I usually just sing it without any thought as to what it truly means.

I looked up the origin of the song and it was written by Judson W. Van DeVenter after he dedicated his life to Jesus. He struggled with whether to pursue his talents as an artist or become an evangelist. He eventually surrendered to his desire to serve the Lord full-time.

When we “surrender” to the Lord, it doesn’t mean we just believe in Him. We can be believers and go on with our lives. But, if we want to be true disciples of Jesus, we have to surrender everything to Him. Our wants, our desires, our hopes, our fears, our worries, etc. It all has to be surrendered.

Surrender is hard. Why? Because we’re human and flawed. We sometimes think our past prevents us from truly being in right relationship with Him. That was a problem I struggled with for years. I couldn’t imagine Him wanting ME to represent Him and His goodness. I thought other people would see me as unworthy and, honestly, some still do because they can’t forgive my past. It used to hurt me and bother me. It still hurst a little, but I now know I am worthy because Christ has forgiven me and He wants me to use my past struggles to tell of his forgiveness and grace. That’s just what I will do until my dying breath.

“Surrender” is a word we don’t always use in our everyday vocabulary. If we do hear it, we think of wars. But, surrender for a Christian is to mean that you give it all over to Jesus with faith He will care for your every need. I know it’s hard, but it’s so worth it.

I hope, one day, that people will say, “She had complete faith in the Lord and she gave it all to Him”. I’m not there yet, but I’m striving every day to get closer to that than ever before.

Reflecting On Life

Are you grown and questioning all of your life decisions? Is your life not really how you though it would be? Do you regret a lot of the decisions you have made in the past?

If so, you’re definitely not alone. I promise you that a majority of people never envisioned the life they are living today. Some have a life that’s so much better than they could ever imagine and some feel like such failures. Dreams never reached reality or “life” got in the way of accomplishments.

I’ll be honest, at 52, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. (LOL) I’ve wanted to be a Pharmacist, a Public Relations Executive, a Flight Attendant, etc. Guess what? I’ve never been any of those things. Does that make me a failure at my life? I don’t think so and I’ll explain why.

While we are waiting for God’s purpose for our life, He is behind the scenes orchestrating things we cannot begin to predict. Yes, admittedly, not all things that happen in our life we would want predicted because they are hard and hurtful. God doesn't major in the hard and want us there. Instead, he uses the hard to shape and. mold us into our best selves.

God is actively and lovingly arranging things in our lives to draw us closer to Him. He uses these circumstances to teach us and refine us. (Some us need more refining than others. It’s ME! I admit it! It’s ME!)

In 1 Corinthians 2:9 it says, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.” Does that give you hope? It does me. Why? Because all we have to do is love Him and we can wait with anticipation to see what works He will do in our lives.

This gives you permission to be courageous in your life because you know that loving the Lord will bring you every thing he has in store for you. Does it mean that you will be a millionaire? Probably not. But, it does mean that your life will be lived abundantly with His help.

So, your life doesn’t look like you thought it would. It doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of yourself for what you are because you are exactly where He wants you to be for this moment in time. If you believe in Him and love Him, you are far richer than anything or anyone on this earth. You have the hope of eternal life. YOU WERE WORTH DYING FOR!!!

I may never be a Pharmacist, Flight Attendant or Public Relations Executive, but I have a beautiful family that loves me, good friends, a wonderful church and the list goes on. I am blessed. I am ok with that and I feel like the richest woman in the world.

A Tribute To My Beautiful Sister-In-Law

This week I have been a little MIA on my website and social media, but with good reason. I have been holding vigil at the hospital where my dear sister-in-law, Melissa, was fighting for her life.

I first met Melissa at my wedding rehearsal on June 9, 1995. Her dad was dating my fiancé’s mom and she came with her newborn baby girl, Randee Jo, in tow. She was not shy and just waltzed in with ideas for my “big day”. We needed someone to stand in for me to walk down the aisle during rehearsal and she gladly stepped up. From that day on, she was a part of my life. Her dad married Tim’s mom and our families became one.

I found out I was pregnant with my first child, Allie, in February of 1997 and she soon found out she was pregnant with her second child, Rachel. We shared our pregnancies together and had two baby girls two months apart.

We raised our children together and our families revolved around spending time at Nana and Pop’s house. It was wonderful to have family to spend all of the good and bad times together.

We didn’t always agree or get along. We both had strong personalities and liked our way, but we never stayed mad long. We were family and that mattered the most.

When Melissa was diagnosed with cancer, I had do doubt she would beat it. She was one of the strongest women I knew. And, boy, did she fight. I have never seen such a determination to live by one woman. It awed and inspired me. She never complained. She always had a good attitude and she never let it stop her from doing the things she loved.

When I tried to take my life in July 2019, she was upset with me. It hurt me, at first, but I soon understood. She couldn’t tolerate me trying to give up on life when she was fighting so hard to keep hers. After that, I valued my life more and she saw that. She reached out and we became close friends. We made shopping trips together, loved to go out to eat and we enjoyed our “The Bachelor” and “Miss America” watch parties. I loved spending time with her and constantly admired how she kept fighting her cancer when she would have so many setbacks.

My last visit with her at home was a week ago Tuesday. I went to her house and we just talked and watched television (“Fire Country”) together. I left there elated for the good visit. I had no idea that a week later I would be at the hospital when she took her last breath.

I know Melissa is with Jesus and seeing things we cannot even fathom. I envy her that. But, the selfish part of me wants her still here and healed with us and her devoted husband, Jeff, and beautiful girls. I guess that’s just the human part of me.I don’t want to let go of my loved ones and she was truly loved.

After almost 30 years of knowing her, I have to rely on memories now. I choose to remember all of the good times we had. The laughs, the jokes, the trips and all of it are forever etched in my mind. I know I will see her again and that comforts me. She will be waiting for me when I get there and she will probably start singing “I’m Proud To Be An American” and laughing (inside joke). Until then, I count myself blessed to not only have been her sister-in-law, but her friend.

I love you, Melissa!

Breaking Generational Curses

This is a subject I have been wanting to talk about for a while because it affects most people that I know. Studying about Abram and Lot this week for Sunday school compelled me to talk about it.

When I think about generational curses, I think of the bad things families pass down to each generation that affects them and, sometimes, hinders them. The things that get in the way of us living our best life.

For some, the curse could be the hunger for money and power. Each generation works to gain these things through any means possible, sometimes illegally, and they don’t care who they hurt. They don’t value morals or ethics, just what is beneficial to them.This can lead to things such as jail time, bad relationships, split families, etc. And, if not stopped, they can affect generation after generation.

For one side of my family, it was alcoholism. It was rampant in a few generations before me and it trickled down to me in my teens and early 20’s. I didn’t know when to stop when I drank. I would drink myself into oblivion and wake up regretful the next day. A lot of my reasoning for drinking was to numb my pain. Little did I realize, until later, that it sometimes just exacerbated the problems that I was already dealing with. The pain might have gone away during the drinking, but it always returned when I was sober. Once I rededicated my life to Christ, I realized that I couldn’t just cut back on drinking, I had to abstain because I couldn’t control myself. I’ve fallen off the wagon a few times since, but I’m resolved to never drink again.

In Genesis, we see Abram (later Abraham) take his nephew, Lot, with him to a place between Bethel and Ai. Both of them accumulated large herds, flocks and tents and they were outgrowing the region. Abram told Lot that they should separate to prevent quarreling between them, their herders and their close relatives. (Genesis 13:2-8)

Abram, wanting to be the peacemaker and not concerned with worldly things, told Lot to pick the land he wanted. Of course, Lot picked the whole plain of Jordan toward Zoar because it was well-watered like the garden of the Lord and the land of Egypt. Once he picked, the two men parted ways.

Although Abram could have pulled rank on Lot and have his choice of where to settle, it was more important to him to love his family and keep the peace.

Once Abram reached his land, God told him to look around and he would have all the land Abram could see. God promised to make his offspring as plenty as the dust. So, Abram pitched his tents near the great trees of Mamre of Hebron and he built an altar to the Lord. (Genesis 13:14-18)

You see, God made a promise to bless Abram because he was faithful and put his love of family over worldly possessions. But, as most know, Lot was greedy and he ended up losing everything-all of his possessions, his wife and his sons-in-laws. His greed would affect his generations to come. Generational curses at its finest portrayed there.

Maybe you’re battling generational curses that seem hard to overcome. The first step is to acknowledge them in your life then make a plan to start change. It all begins with you.

“Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all men.” Romans 5:18

Your Heart Trumps Your Head

I know that most people tell you that you should never let your emotions rule your decisions and I have to agree, for the most part. But, in matters related to Jesus, our hearts matter.

Yes, I am sounding like a contradiction and I am not trying to be confusing. But, we have to search our hearts in order to truly understand our decisions.

I have been studying Cain and Abel this week to fill in for our Sunday school teacher. I realized things in this story that we should really consider in our life today about our Christian walk.

Cain and Abel were the first children of Adam and Eve. They both had important jobs. Cain worked the soil while Abel worked the flocks. (Genesis 4:1-2). They were different, but equally contributed to the family’s well-being.

When it was time for them to present their offerings to the Lord, Cain brought “some” of the fruits of the soil for his offering, but Abel brought fat portions from the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked upon Abel’s offering with favor, but He did not Cain’s and Cain was not happy. (Genesis 4:3-5)

It’s easy to see that the Lord favored Abel because he brought the very best of his flock for the offering and Cain did not. Cain just used his leftovers for the offering and it was disgraceful to Jesus.

The problem with Cain was not so much his offering, but his heart. WOW! Did you read that? It was a heart problem-not a giving problem.

Let’s talk modern-day now. When have you given and felt it was not enough? You thought you were giving your best and your all, but someone was less than pleased with you.

I have found myself going through all of the motions of being the “good Christian church member” and everything in my life was a mess. I would ask God, “Why are you allowing me to go through so many trials when I go to church every time the doors open? I am serving you by teaching youth Sunday school, or Wednesday night kids church or helping in children’s choir and all I am experiencing are trials.”

I finally figured it out after doing the “wrong” things over and over again. I had a HEART problem. I could serve in all of those capacities and have my body in church every week, but it was not enough. Jesus didn’t want my presence at church- he wanted my presence in Him. If I was only serving Him out of duty or for appearances, I was just spinning my wheels.

Once I realized I was doing this, my whole attitude changed. I started craving the word of God and wanting to spend time with Him because He became my friend-not just a deity. I began to want my serving to be rooted in my heart to seek Him. I pursued acts of service that I prayed about and felt called to do and it made all of the difference in the world.

Did I start having less trials once I got my heart right? No. Not even close. I still struggle with things of this world, but I tackle it completely different. I put my heart and my trust in God’s promises in His Word. I look to His Word to guide my life-not myself.

Most of us know the sad ending to Cain and Abel’s story (Genesis 4:8-12). Cain lures Abel and kills him. Then, he lies to Jesus about what he did. Finally, Jesus curses him for the rest of his life. There are no more accounts of Cain in the Bible except two references to his acts. But, it doesn’t tell us what, exactly, the curse was that he had to endure the rest of his life and how the rest of his life played out. We can only assume that it was hard and troublesome.

If you’re a Cain, and you’re just giving God what you have left, then pivot. Start praying about your heart and how you can serve Him with deep feeling and not just duty. I promise you that it will be worth it.

“Serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 10:12